This is MY Country

Well, I have to always say that it's never a dull moment in Lizard Lick, North Carolina.  I was traveling to Virginia to see an old friend who is a gun member and a proud member of the National Rifle Association and a card carrying, Obama hatin' Republican Red Neck when I the good fortune of stopping off in a town that I had not visited in, say, about 20 years or so called Lizard Lick.

Lizard Lick is the only town in NC that refuses to associate itself with barbecue or tarheels or panthers or anything North Carolina.  They come from a distinctly hardy stock of American Credit Union members and pastry chefs so they really have no allegiance to anyone.  They shoot liberals and castrate conservatives--that's the Lizard Lick way.

Well, my plan was to pass right on through and then I saw the sign: Performing today! One Day Only!  The Bank of Americans Barbershop Quartet!  You have NO idea what kind of things started swimming around in my head or the Joker-like grin that began to spider across both sides of my face.

Oh there was NO way I was going to pass this moment in what I was sure to be a most amusing moment in the time I was wasting so I headed off to the Lizard Lick High School, home of the Lizard Lick Wrestlercheros  and their pep squad "the Lady Lickerettes"(Oh I am so not going to touch that one).

I paid my 10 dollars ( a bit steep for barbarshop), headed into the auditorium, sat down next to this enormously robust woman who sat stiffly beside me while staring straight ahead, lower lip sticking forward like a continental shelf and knitting.....er....something.....knitted.. with needles clacking away like  a mighty steam engine barreling its way to Petticoat Junction.

Ladies and Gentleman!  The Bank of Americans Barbershop Quartet!

And here is what they sang:

"This is MY Country! Land of MY purse

This is My Country! We’re the Greediest on Earth

You owe us banks your allegiance, Americans, I’m told

For this is MY country to Grab and Foreclose.

What Difference if you hail from North or South

Or from East or West?

I’ve taken homes from all of you.

I only know I swell with pride

To see Old Granny hit the streets.

With my hand in your chest, I wrench out your heart

For I love to crush your dreams.

Your body is broken, your hopes are gone

For I OWN the United States!

This is MY Country! Senators have no say!

This is MY Country!  They can all be bought away

They pledged me their allegiance, Congress loves it gold!

For this is MY Country, to have and to HOLD (in escrow)!"

I'm just saying...