I have this defiant thing that I say when ever I cross, as a pedestrian, the street and I feel challenged by an ongoing car. I say (with an Elvis-esque snarl “run over me and I’ll sue you”.
The United States is a litigious country.
The State of Massachusetts, for example, has more attorneys then any state in the country. The reason for that is the presence of Ivy League colleges and lots and lots (said in my finest snooty voice) of litigiously prestigious training camps…er…schools for those who have a yen to chase an ambulance.
(By the way Harvard dudes—you think you are so gosh darn smarter then the rest us and that Ivy League puts you in a class by yourself. Ivy means you and your institution are covered in weeds which is a truly good analogy as to how you have been running…dare I say bleeding… this country)
How do you do? My name is “Sue”.
Yes, we are a litigious country.
…which brings me to my point:
Many of you remember that a few weeks ago a man was trapped under a car and could not get up---he could have literally died.
Suddenly, out of nowhere and I mean NOWHERE comes this crowd of people descending on this scene like ants on a pile of pure Haitian cane sugar and they don’t descend as “gawkers” which is normal for people in this country.
Instead, with a mighty roar and the sound of angelic goodness beating in their collective hearts, these singular peewees get together and combine their strength and in one Herculean effort lift the car while a couple of construction workers drag the man away from the car just as it burst into flames.
THEN (and I have to shout in amazement using my all caps key)
As if they had never, ever existed…ever. My wife claims they were angels. I have a much darker explanation.
First, let me say that I belief in the inherent goodness of most people and I believe that most people try, really try, to put their best efforts forward. Sure, we see a lot of negativity on the news but the news is about garnering tv ratings which is about garnering advertisement money which is about garnering sales which is about garnering money and then recycling all that garnering into recycling the whole thing all over again.
That’s a lot of garnering, don’t you think?
..and now for my much darker explanation:
We are a litigious nation.
Lawyers…so many lawyers….so much to do….so much money to make off the misery of others. They are always circling over our heads waiting for the right moment to sue something and, in this case, this automobile accident would be a big wallet expander waiting to happen.
I honestly believe those kind people just vamoosed so that they could not get sued for being “good Samaritans”.
I am thankful that a man was not killed and lived to tell his story and the story of these anonymous heroes to others…we should all be this lucky.
But if this country is to not only survive but also move forward, we need more heroes and fewer lawyers.
I’m just sayin’…