Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Is Herman Cain the GOP Obamaphant?

Got to say that you starched collared overly conservative Republicans, creatures of the Grand Old Party are certainly amusing these days.  Chris Matthews, of Hardball, has referred to you as clowns and I think I have to agree with him. The last debate was filled with unforgettable (well to the GOP surely forgettable) comedic quips which I think were supposed to be witticisms but came out as absolute “wittlesscisms”.

 Rick Perry, you are pretty much dead in the water since it’s become apparent to this writer that your flash card subscription to the Weekly Reader has run out and now you are left to think on your own.  Newt Gingrich, you looked pathetic sitting next to those youngsters trying to look like you belonged to this current squawking nest of Junior Birdmen.  I felt sorry for you.  You are obviously out of place and are a  much, much brighter bird then this current batch of Reago-Bots and you should, in all fairness, be a front runner.  I have no clue as to why you are not garnering the poll points that would put you in the front except maybe you are still trapped in your glory days. Snap out of it Newtster. As the Yogi would say “it ain’t over ‘til it’s over”.

Michelle Bachman. Good Lord.  If the real world were a Superman Comic, you would be Michelle Mxyzptlk because you obviously exist in some kind of strange alternate dimension.  You are not funny, Michelle. You are a politician. Show us something that is not too terribly off the wall.  You can make fun of me, of course. It’s the thing you seem to do best but just remember that my Superman analogy doesn’t even come close to your spotting the sign of the Antichrist in Herman Cain’s plan.  I don’t dismiss your comment as a joke, Michelle.  You command, like Governor Perry, a lot of religious attention and those people mistakenly believe your word is gospel.

Personally, I think you have a lot of positive potential but you need to focus.

Herman Cain? Well, I will get to you in a moment.

You “GOPian” groovy gurus have got to stop attacking each other and start working as a team. You have to stop attacking Obama.  Hawk stalking the president with “tough” but goofy rhetoric isn’t making any of you look like presidential material.  All of you are second bananas to Joe the Plumber and he ain’t running for president although I hear he may be attempting a run at congress.

Mit Romney? Well bless your heart.  You are the silent Sam of the group and it’s become clear that you are a man who has learned from your last run for the rose garden. You seem to be a keen observer of your opponents and have taken the road of the wisest of the three monkeys and clamped your hand over your mouth.  It’s a good strategy and this road you are taking seems to be leading you straight to the Republican nomination.

But you know…and I don’t want to be the one to say this, Mit.  You are the Republican answer to Al Gore.  We all love Al but he was a big yawn on the political circuit. However, if it turns out that if you are Al Gore and you can’t be president this second time around then you can just settle for a Nobel Prize and an Oscar which is much more lucrative then being president. Because, Mit, you really are all about the money which, strangely, makes me feel warm and fuzzy because if you know how to make the cash flow for yourself, maybe you will make the cash flow for us citizens who don’t want a hand out but a chance to work and “hand in”.

Maybe that front runner and the beast that beat Obama will be you, Mr. Romney, sir.   Here’s hoping, because I actually like you. You come across as a very nice guy on the whole and you have nice teeth.

Ok Herman, you’re next.  Could you be the next Obama?  I think it would be exciting to have two African American candidates with opposing intellectual opinions go head to head but I can’t seem to shake it out of my noggin’ that you, Herman, were a CEO of a corporation and that this untouchable class led our economy to disaster in my book.  CEOs have quite the track record, don’t they?  People complain about these executive getting  fat bonuses and the fact that a CEO ‘s bottom line is to answer to the financial whims of his investors and to his board. Nothing else, no one, really matters as long as that big pizza pan of US dollars keeps rolling in to fatten the coffers of those to whom you answer.  I just can’t shake it.

To whom do you answer, Mr. Cain?  To whom will you answer, Mr. Cain?

But ignore me on my personal qualms.  You are making an impressive rise in the polls. You do seem to have something to say and you are putting out ideas, at least, and your voice is being heard.  You are still battling for position in the race but you are beginning to perform well. Will you beat Mit?  It is very hard to say at this time but I think you have a darn good chance.  At best, you would make one heck of a Vice Presidential candidate. You do have a regular Joe appeal and you are frequently seen on the television talking about all the “this and thats” of the typical political day. People know you and respect you. Well, I don’t-- but that’s a story for another day.

Herman, I don’t think your 9-9-9 proposal is of the devil or that the devil is contained in the details as Michelle Bachman said.  I think the devil is smarter then your plan and regarding your 9-9-9, I don’t see its merits but I am going to keep my mind open just like I will keep my mind open on the other candidate’s thoughts and ideas.

You see, I am not close-minded when it comes to politics. I don't really care if you are an Elephant or a Donkey.  I am going to vote for the person I think is the best man or woman for the job.  This entire fluffy feather rooster ruffling that you guys are engaged in is irrelevant.   You all still have a chance to soar but get out of this sniping hole that you guys have dug for yourself and talk to us like we, the people, matter.  Sort out your laundry and then tell us why you think you should be president.  I really want to know.

Otherwise, get the gosh darned heck off of my TV set.

I’m just saying…



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