The Super Committee of Doom VS The American Dollar Bill

If you have been totally out of the political loop, you may not know that there is a super committee that was set up after this country’s last brush with partisan fiscal irresponsibility.  The idea is that the committee which is made up of former citizens of the planet Krypton will fly to our rescue and lower the deficit in ways that could not possibly be conceived by mere mortal men.

So the question of the day becomes “If congress could not get this particular task done and now a Super Committee must fix their impotent impasse, WHY do we need congress at all?  Really, I feel I am asking a fair and balance question.  I deserve, as a US Citizen, a fair and balanced answer.

Anyway, this Super Committee is supposed to work at the task of reducing the deficit and if they can’t then the whole thing goes on sort of an autopilot and automatic cuts will fall into place somewhat reducing the deficit anyway.  This gathering of great minds was culled from Congress itself who could not solve the problem so they picked the strongest of their peoples to make a SUPER attempt at not solving the problem again.

Well then….

Now, here comes the latest news on the Super Committee:  this fair and impartial collection of congressional cattle is accessible by none other then-----lobbyists.  What a surprise.   No offense, congress but lobbying the Super Committee is not a super idea. If this committee of so called “fiscal fixers” can be influenced by biased outsiders like lobbyists then congress is, once again, wasting the time of its constituents and congress is, once again, frivolously spending the taxpayer dollar.

…And Speaking of the Dollar.

This particular lobbyist wants Congress to get rid of the paper dollar and bring back the American Dollar as a coin.  The idea is that by eliminating the paper dollar, this country will save 5 plus billion dollars over a space of 30 years.  Now, I don’t know about you but I have a mortgage that is that long and I don’t want to wait another 30 years to see this country save a few pennies.

Besides, a coin dollar can cause a lot of problems.  So the girls are off to Chippendales’ to have a good time at the “girls night out” and they have brought along tons of their little dollar coins.   Can you imagine how many scrotums will be damaged from dropping those coins down that poor dancers kangaroo pouch.  As a guy, all I can say is “ouch”!

People will jingle wherever they go.  Wallets will only be good for credit cards and cabs that only accept cash will be forced to carry those little coin change belt things.

Think of all the jammed up Coke machines. 

You see, we learned this lesson before from the Miss Susan B. Anthony fiasco.  Miss Dollar Coin herself taught us that Americans will almost always mistake the dollar coin for a quarter and vending machines will suffer serious damage.  Vending machines have a lobby too you know. Eventually the Susan B Anthony coin was discontinued because the American Public rejected it. 

 Then there is the Sacagawea Dollar also known as “the Golden Dollar, which pays homage to our great Native American nations. This coin has been in circulation since 2000. Every year, it features a re-minting of the coin featuring a great Native American accomplishment.  If we are going to eliminate the dollar bill as paper then why do we need to mint a new dollar coin. So why does the lobbyist want us ignore the Native American dollar and use his lobby dollar. Maybe we  should cast on this new lobby coin the image of the great American lobbyist with a congressman sticking out of his pocket.

I understand those lobbyists are like supplemental income for most of you in congress. I get it but I cant afford the government grease that you folks seem to need to get things done but remember that I still yield a small vote and so do millions, yes that’s millions, like me and this year we are ALL watching you very closely Republican and Democrat alike.

So Congress, here is my message to your Super Committee:  Kick the lobbyists out , use your sound judgment and for god’s sake, lock the doors!

I’m just sayin’…