Lizard Lick is the only town in NC that refuses to associate itself with barbecue or tarheels or panthers or anything North Carolina. They come from a distinctly hardy stock of American Credit Union members and pastry chefs so they really have no allegiance to anyone. They shoot liberals and castrate conservatives--that's the Lizard Lick way.
Well, my plan was to pass right on through and then I saw the sign: Performing today! One Day Only! The Bank of Americans Barbershop Quartet! You have NO idea what kind of things started swimming around in my head or the Joker-like grin that began to spider across both sides of my face.
Oh there was NO way I was going to pass this moment in what I was sure to be a most amusing moment in the time I was wasting so I headed off to the Lizard Lick High School, home of the Lizard Lick Wrestlercheros and their pep squad "the Lady Lickerettes"(Oh I am so not going to touch that one).
I paid my 10 dollars ( a bit steep for barbarshop), headed into the auditorium, sat down next to this enormously robust woman who sat stiffly beside me while staring straight ahead, lower lip sticking forward like a continental shelf and knitting.....er....something.....knitted.. with needles clacking away like a mighty steam engine barreling its way to Petticoat Junction.
Ladies and Gentleman! The Bank of Americans Barbershop Quartet!
And here is what they sang:
This is My Country! We’re the Greediest on Earth
You owe us banks your allegiance, Americans, I’m told
For this is MY country to Grab and Foreclose.
What Difference if you hail from North or South
Or from East or West?
I’ve taken homes from all of you.
I only know I swell with pride
To see Old Granny hit the streets.
With my hand in your chest, I wrench out your heart
For I love to crush your dreams.
Your body is broken, your hopes are gone
For I OWN the United States!
This is MY Country! Senators have no say!
This is MY Country! They can all be bought away
They pledged me their allegiance, Congress loves it gold!
For this is MY Country, to have and to HOLD (in escrow)!"
I'm just saying...
Hmmm -
ReplyDeleteWell banks aren't all that popular amongst the PEOPLE - that would be people on both sides of that ephemeral aisle.
"Obama hating rednecks" sounds a tad overboard tbh. One needs not "hate" to disagree. That is why this country is great - we don't care for one bunch of losers- we vote them out. Any side.
When Bush's reign - and the Republicans - were outed, it was a sign the country was fed up with the state we were in. Has this "change" gotten us anywhere better? 2012 will hopefully tell what the whole country wants as "change".
Personally, I am tired of change- I want dollars.
Ooh I like what you wrote--I am a redneck and i don't hate Obama, think he has a hot and very smart wife--like the whole family image but he reminds me of Buddha after a gastric bypass--he smiles thinly and benignly and takes the pain. He needs to stand up for himself and his country and put on his Gene Simmons dragon boots and kick some ass--no more Henry Clayesque dances of compromise. As Larry the Cable Guy says just "git er done".
ReplyDeleteI don't know that he had a clue what he was getting into when he signed up for the job- but to me at least - he ain't cut out for it. NVM that I don't care for socialism in my country- but hey that's just me.
ReplyDeleteBTW - I am not a Republican, in case any one thinks my Obama bashing is anti Democrat. It isn't, I voted Clinton into office twice before he pissed me off by not telling people to eff off and mind their own business.
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ReplyDeleteWell I still believe that Obama has some great potential but he has made some serious stumbles--one is assuming that the party is on his side--once he becomes President--he does not belong to a party--or so it should be--all sides are out to screw him, that much is pretty obvious--as to whether he carries my vote, that remains to be seen--I do say let the man have his chance--as Yogi Berra would say "It ain't over 'til it's over..."
ReplyDeleteAs far as Rick Perry goes--I will play second fiddle for a tap dancin' dog before I vote him into office.